i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
