Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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