so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
