He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
