She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
