dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
