I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
