I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
