bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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