she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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