He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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