You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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