I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
