She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
