just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize