Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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