i think my mom watched the whole time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
