First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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