ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
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