one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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