Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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