I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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