On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
