Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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