I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize