It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
