Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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