Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
