I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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