u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
