11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
BRING THE BAGELS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
God I need to hump something, right now.
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