I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
