His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
