i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
