Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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