In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
