Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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