somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
