Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
