what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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