The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
