everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Im part way to drunk.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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