i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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