Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
