these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he thought i was a dude.
love makes seman taste better
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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