great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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