yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
