Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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