end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
