If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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