Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Is it because I queefed?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
