I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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