If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
