I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
