He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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