Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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