is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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