Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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