What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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