My liver just broke up with me...
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
