everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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