Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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