Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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