just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
