Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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