kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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