Whod you bang
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize