i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
