I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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