I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
