This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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