fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
