That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My balls are so social today.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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