Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Congratulations! We have a period
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
