glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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