Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize